When something unexpected comes about, like these uncertain times we are currently in with Coronavirus, ask yourselves – Is there another way to look at this? Is there an opportunity here?
The Chinese word for change is one symbol for uncertainty and the other for opportunity.
Never has it been more important to look after you when dealing with change. Find some new things to help stabilise your new lifestyle. Get into a regular workout routine which is sustainable in the home (then this won’t change) – it might be you sign up to online exercise classes, you invest in a spin bike for the home or just that you do squats and lunges while brushing your teeth (a firm fave of mine). Eat well, think about personal care. Try to sleep. Get into routines which are healthy for you. Just because you aren’t getting up to go into work each day it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be getting up at the same time, how about an hour of meditation at home? Just think before you were scrambling to get a seat on your commute! I know what I’d rather!
Having your heart set on your wedding day is such a huge emotion and runs so deep. Inevitably you have visualised your big day for many many months, if not years, and for that not to happen can be devastating, especially when it is completely out of your control.
This will be a real test of your relationship as everyone deals with change differently. You might find your partner appears to be ‘absolutely fine’ about everything, whereas you’re freaking out. Or you might both be struggling, yet not speaking honestly to one another as you don’t want the emotions to get any worse. This is normal. Everyone works in their own way with change. The only way to keep your relationship on track is through communication. It is such a cliche, but for good reason. However terrible it might be to open up and say exactly how you’re feeling, in the long run it’ll help build far stronger foundations to your relationship with your partner.
‘There are no negatives in life, only challenges to overcome which will make you stronger’
However frustrating, painful, annoying and completely unfair it all feels, you have to go through the stages of emotions before you get to accept the change. Once you are accepting, then you will see that the change wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, in fact it might have all been for the best.
There are lots of things which you will be dealing with for your wedding:
- A new date – for sure
- You might not be able to have all the original suppliers you so careful crafted together to make your original wedding
- A different season
- A new venue
There are plenty more things, although these will probably be the most front of mind
If the focus is on the opportunities this situation has presented then this might be that golden ticket to unearth some new and different suppliers, who are even more ‘you’. A new wedding date which has a much richer heritage in how you got there. A venue who are even more appreciative for your wedding to be at their venue. Remember, this is an incredibly tough time for your suppliers, most of whom are self-employed and will be struggling to keep their businesses going during COVID-19, so show your love and support and they will be there for you.
If the date is something very important to you – have the ceremony with the max. 5 people there and rearrange the party. Let the rearranged party have an awesome Celebrant leading the way, and choose a date which works for everyone, the date isn’t important – the celebration is. To quote the lovely Stewart O’Sullivan, Celebrant, ‘The day your birth was registered isn’t your birthday, nor the day you celebrate your birthday. Registering your marriage is the same, it doesn’t need to be your anniversary – or wedding day.’ In fact, with this in mind – and plenty of couples I know do this – celebrate anniversaries on both dates, the date your marriage was registered and the day you celebrated with your nearest and dearest – even more champagne, gifts (and dates to remember).
If you are changing the date, be open to what that means – you may well have planned a spring wedding and were going to have lots of Anemone flowers, however if you are now getting married in October this really isn’t the best flower choice to go for – if your florist can even source, them they will have skyrocketed in price and have gazillion air miles attached to them. Look at the options which are flowering in Autumn as an alternative, still working with your colour scheme – in this example you might consider a Dahlia. Trust your florist to make the right decisions for you to get the look and feel you want to achieve by updating and sharing your style guides with them.
More than anything this crazy, crazy time makes us all think a little more about where everything comes from – and being able to source locally, and not rely on the crazy international imports and logistics network we have all become so accustomed to. Start considering the air miles attached to everything at the wedding, try to reduce them, and look locally at what gorgeous options you have available to you.
You need to go through the emotions, but don’t linger on them – the sooner you can focus on the practical aspects the better you’ll feel. That being said, don’t beat yourself up if it takes you a while, you need to work at your pace. Remember your wedding planner is here to support you. The brilliant news is, with modern technology it is easy to get to know and trust one another. Wedding Planners are used to working remotely, we plan weddings for people in towns, cities and countries we’ve never been to before – so we can certainly navigate the remote connections to everyone to give you the day of your dreams.
Look at this as a positive, that you’ll have many a tale to tell about your crazy wedding planning journey. You must see this Coronavirus as you being a survivor, stronger, more resilient and more confident in your decisions than ever. If you see yourself as a victim it’ll be difficult to step out of that negative headspace.
And most importantly just think how much everyone will want to party at the end of this – your wedding is going to be a blast as everyone will be ready to party. So look forward to the blinking amazing party that is ahead of you.
If you’re struggling to navigate your wedding planning, and want to talk it though, just give me a call and I am here for you – email@example.com.