One of the most common phrases which is all too common at the moment is ‘we’ll reschedule for when things are back to normal’.
I am sure you’ve said it about birthday celebrations, dinner parties, tests, appointments, and if you are reading this then also your wedding.
I’ve been thinking about how I can help you couples out there to navigate your way through this tough time. Here are some suggestions and top tips to help you out.
It’s so bloody unfair – my wedding has been impacted by Covid-19!!!
I hear you! It really is unfair.
Feel those emotions, get angry, scream, shout, cry, hug – whatever you need to feel and to process how completely rubbish this situation is.
You will have been planning your wedding for many many months, if not years. Investing so much time, money, emotion and love into what you had set as your wedding date. You have every right to feel pissed off, so feel it.
Once you have gone through those emotions you will get to a place of acceptance. Your wedding isn’t going to happen on the date you have planned (along with dental appointments, birthday celebrations and summer holidays). Your wedding is also going to need to be ‘rescheduled for when things are back to normal’. Once you have reached acceptance that’s when you can start being super proactive and put together a revised plan. It might take you a while to get to this point, so please don’t beat yourself up if you are taking a while to go through the emotions… if you yo-yo back to all the negative feelings sometimes – that’s totally normal.
Be kind to yourself this is tough!
So when is normal going to start?
Clearly none of us have the answer to this and we need to think about what is ‘normal’? I fear normal might look fairly different for quite some time following Covid-19, for many reasons, but mainly through a fear of a repeat pandemic impacting our world in a similar way. So large gatherings and travel may well be impacted in different ways for quite some time.
The complete freedom of movement that we are used to is sure to be restricted for quite a while, most likely until a vaccine has been developed. However, if the UK decides to go down the route of herd immunity, which inevitably it will have to do, then hopefully we should find we have more and more freedom over the coming months.
With all this being said we might still be restricted in the size of groups we can have congregating. It is worth considering if you’ve planned a wedding for 150 people, you may well find in our new world this is restricted to 50 people. Now you need to figure out, would you rather cut the number of guests at your wedding and have a smaller, more intimate wedding on your original wedding date; or would you rather postpone until large groups can meet again and have your wedding on a new date?
Should I be postponing or cancelling my wedding?
Have got to the point where you have decided you need to reschedule your wedding? So do you want to cancel or postpone?
I would always recommend postponing, as cancelling may mean forfeiting on deposits, having to start all over again, and losing any goodwill gestures e.g. suppliers keeping their prices at their 2020 price rather than the inflation they add for the subsequent years.
However, there are some circumstances where cancelling is the sensible option, for example a destination wedding, where you don’t know when you will next be able to get to that destination, or if you no longer have the means to have the wedding you had originally planned for. There is no judgement here, everyone has been impacted in different ways and everyone will have their own reasons.
If you choose to postpone, it allows you to keep as many, as possible, of the fab suppliers you already have booked on board. Most suppliers will be very accommodating in trying to find a way to make your date work, and if they can’t make it work then they will be looking for a solution to help you out. Remember the wedding industry loves their couples and wants to do all they can to make each and every wedding the best it possibly can be, suppliers will want to make this as easy as possible for you.
When postponing it can be a struggle to find an alternative date which would work for everyone. A lot of your suppliers will only take on one wedding for each date, (often this is a reason the prices you pay for your wedding are higher than you might expect for a lot of your suppliers).
For example, your wedding photographer isn’t going to be shooting multiple weddings on the same day. They will be working on your wedding, and your wedding alone.
To try and make postponing your wedding that little bit easier take a look below at my top tips for when rescheduling your wedding, this is all based on if you don’t have a planner yet (if you do have a wedding planner – go through the first step and then give them a shout):
- Decide what dates work for you both, and remain as flexible as you possibly can be. You also need to give yourselves a deadline by when you will have made a decision if you’re going to postpone, if it is still in your hands rather than government imposed.
Here are some crucial questions to ask yourselves:
- Which season?
- Day of the week?
- Time of day?
- Any guests you need to have there – do they have any restrictions to their availability?
- Once you have a date speak to your venue(s) and check their availability. Now ask them very nicely, to pencil in your alternative date and to get in touch and let you know if any other couples are looking at that date, while you speak to your other suppliers.
- List all your suppliers in order of how important it is to you that they are there on your big day. The suppliers I would always put at the top are your photographer and make-up and hair team, as these are very personal and will only be able to do one wedding per day. After this it really does come down to which suppliers are most important to you. If you’re not too fussed about that specific supplier, or if a supplier is able to provide you with their service as well as others on the same day, for example your stationery provider, then you might want to put them lower down in your list.
- Now go through your list and ask each supplier to pencil in your preferred date, and ask them to let you know if another couple is interested in the date.
- When speaking to your venue and suppliers always ask them what their terms are for postponing given the current situation, and give them your timeframe by when you will have made a decision – they don’t want to be holding a valuable date for you for 3 months, remember they still need to run their business.
- With your list of all suppliers and their availability, and a second list with all the suppliers terms and conditions you can now spend some time reviewing the options. You are now in a position to consider the implications of moving your date and can talk through what the best solution is for you emotionally, financially and to give you that peace of mind.
- Once you have made a decision on what your revised date is going to be, sleep on it. This is a major change, give yourself time to let the change settle and sit well with you.
- Once you have slept on what your new date will be, and you are 100% confident you are happy to postpone to your new date, confirm this with all suppliers and venue(s) in writing, over email.
- Any suppliers who come back saying they can’t do the new date, ask if they could make a recommendation for an alternative supplier who provides a similar service to them. The fun starts with finding some more dream suppliers for your wedding.
- You may well be financially impacted by these changes so wherever possible claim on your insurance. If you don’t have insurance – make sure you get it, when you can, for your new date.
Finally wherever you are in this stressful and horrible process give me a shout, I am here to help. I am offering free advice to get your wedding back on track during and in the aftermath of Covid-19. You can call/WhatsApp me on 07950370588 or email and let’s schedule a call on firstname.lastname@example.org.
Sending tons of love and hugs during this super crazy time and whatever you decide to do, make sure you are communicating. The best solutions will come when everyone is speaking to one another honestly.